Filed under: In Berlin
Nov. 30th, 2007
Well, today was a great day. Though I know it isn’t yet near to being over, being 6pm, I know no one will get this until I am in bed. And as usual, excuse my typing, it is getting more and more hard to write without German coming in. In German every noun is capitalized and verbs come somtimes before the object, and sometimes after, and blah blah…I love it, but when I come back to Canada my English is going to need a tuning up. Here i have to use simple english basically for every conversation, and repeat it usually once of twice in order to have a conversation where the topic is understood. Most people here speak at least enough to say the usual “hello’s” and “How was your week”. But anyways…As for this day… I’m gonna skill a line so that it doesn’t make this all seem like one huge intro.
This week (to start of my day) our team set challenges for each other to be held accountable for. For example Fred wants to get more homework done for his internship, Kiki (Kedron) wants to work out at least once a day either sit-up or jog. So as a team we encourage this to be done, and perhaps by next weeks team meeting come back and do a mini debrief of how it went / is going. Well, what I chose was to make sure to get up early and go for a walk with Jesus at least 5 days a week. I’m on a spiritual discipline kick right now. God is telling me to be more discipline. So I thought what better way then to get the teams help. It has been fantastic! I don’t fully know why, but walking up and just being with God to set the day makes the rest of the day in the right perspective. My walks have been anywhere from 5 mins to 35 mins. Today’s was particularly amazing. I actually only had to wake up by 9 this morning so it wasn’t much of a discipline, but I asked God to be with me and he was. I went for a walk, and just as if you were to go on a walk with your spouse or friend (someone you love to be with), I was chatting it up and asking questions and every time an answer came. The this was that the answers where so encouraging and made me think so much. The first thing I asked was “why did you create this world” (I know, a big one), as i was looking around a the trees and plants around me,
he said “Why not?”.
“Jon, you come from a place where there always has to be reason in order to do something; A world where “doing” is usually a burden; A world where time is in control of everything. Think about me…What is creation to me if time is of no consequence to me. Why do you even bring up such a question as ‘Why would you, create this world?’, when you cannot even understand how I am. Your brain can only see what I made it see, and i don’t want you to know why I created this universe. I want you to know this, I love you, and everything I have created.”
Now, the answer…was well, right to my heart. In fact it was through my heart…if that makes sense, because that is how God speaks to me. Not using vocal chords, not using body language, but using emotion and love. I continued my walk enjoying each tree, and seeing the truth behind how amazing each one is. When I really get thinking, I look at a tree and see that this type of tree was around when Jesus was alive. He saw the same tree’s (maybe a little different) that I was looking at now. He saw the same types of people walking around. He saw the same gray / blue / black / red / orange / white / green / pink? sky that I could look up to anytime and watch.
Needless to say, I continued walking and talking and had an amazing time. I went walking with no other purpose either then to be with God. I had no direction, I just went and things happened. The next question that I want to share (not gonna share them all…there between me and God) is when I was walking back. I had an old lady behind me and I was walking really slowly, so i didn’t want her to think that I was going to try and rob her or something, so i sped up a bit (random bit of information). But this incident brought up people in this world into the conversation. I always wondered about such gifts as healing, and prophecy, and tongues, and wondered how I could get me some of that action (if you will). I wanted to do great things as such and bring people to God with them. Thinking that thats would be the best way to convince a non-Christian (you all know what I’m talking about, the just flat out, BAM! heal someones body physically right in front of a bunch of non-Christians and then have them all become Christians). But God has told me different again and again. People are blind, even if they did see such miracles there will always be those who don’t believe. And its not my place to choose who believes and who doesn’t. I leave that to God. But anyways! I saw this all in prep for the question I asked, “How do I heal people?”
Now the question was like my hmmmmm??? kinda question for God. To kinda be like, why can’t I do this? (mind you…I don’t think iv ever had to guts to try…). And his response! oh man I love it…
“…Love people” He said in a very simple yet truthful way.
And mannnn, did it hit me. I was like “…too-shay…Well done God…Well Done…”. Now if you don’t fully get the answer, I’ll explain. I have always had a thing with God wondering what life is all about. And time and time again I fall away on my rants and try to think of new things, but God every time brings me back to such simplicity as Love… Just again… I was on my own antics about how I can heal people, by being the best Christian out there, and gaining power by discipline. And he just as always! “…Love people…”. You think about healing as always being “oh, someone is sick / someones leg is broken” and you come in and save that day. Now this happeds. I dont have anything against healing. I just gave no credit to Love. Love is the ultimate healer. If i can fully understand this Love I would be far better off then someone he has healed a few times through God. Love goes into the heart. Love goes into every part of someones soul and heals them! Love is the only healer that not only heals emotions, but it heals, physically. Mannnnn, did God every get me. I mean…i do expect it…he is God. But this experiance this morning was one of the first times I gave him the chance just to talk with me. To go for a long walk and listen. Sometimes we enjoy silence together. Sometimes he waits for the exact moment (and I mean exact) moment to speak in order that my heart is moved. God is amazing. Not only has he created every atom, but he loves every atom.
Heavenly Father, thank you.
God Bless,
Jon
Filed under: In Berlin
Bare with me…I didn’t want to go over this all and edit it…so it may not make sense at times…
Nov 22nd 2007 (In Balzac coffee shop)
I read the NLT version of the beatitudes and have again been inspired. I love how these are actual words of the creator of the universe. I don’t get it really! I mean this is it! These are the words that the entity who created this world and universe, that our minds cannot comprehend, has said. I wonder sometimes if I really don’t actually think that when I read the red letters in this NLT.
I had an experience on this morning’s walk, with realizing that what I see is it! Every plant, every tree, every bird, and most of all every human i see is direct proof that there is something far greater then us humans. I need more of God. Why should i be thinking earthly when there is so much that is obviously not evern able to be comprehended by the people of this earth. I look around this coffee shop and wonder, “how many people are really worried about the same things I am”. At the moment, I am worried about:
- Staying passionate for God’s will
- Being used by God (I want to be)
- God telling me that if I truely want to see him, i must live at the poor, just as he did.
- Being more loving.
- Loosing connection with people, making loss for chance to show God and his love.
- Loosing connection with my family
Now these worries are so normal for me now. But 2 years ago…I can’t even compare. I want to write them out to see though:
- Computer Science studies
- Girls liking me
- Looking good
- Looking as cool as i can so that i can accept people or not accept them depending on their actions.
- Career (Money)
- Getting better at tennis
Well, with thinking back that is them, i believe, to the best of my knowledge. Its kind of weird. I know now that even amongst my worries, i will have peace if I continue to see God’s creation, and not my earth. I have to open my eyes continually. It is as if everyday makes my eyes heavier and heavier until I begin the process of opening them fully again through reflection, writing, reading, and being in silence. It is too bad that society is becoming more and more against such things. Especially in “cold-cultures”. When would a business man (Stereotypical) ever say “Well, let me be silent for a few days then ill get back to you”. That business man wouldn’t have a job for long. All these things that we as society think will make us better and our lives better are the opposite. “More trams, more cars, more speed, faster, faster, faster, save time, look good quick, get rich quick, how to learn German in 10 minuets a day!”. All these things that are supposed to help us find a better life, are at a loss. I don’t want to be a part of it, yet i do…I want to help people see that there is a different hope, that is totally backwards, so backwards that it causes people to fear that it will make their lives worse.
People don’t confess things because they think that it will make their relationship worse, until it is too late. That wrong builds up for so long that it comes out in a mass explosion of hatred and pain. If only they would see the truth. Take the chance and confess as quickly as possible, so it does not have a chance to grow in our fallen hearts. It will be seen that it actually makes for a better relationship, one of integrity and trails.
As well, take the chance of letting go of faster, more, bigger, better, money, that is thrown at them by satan. The belief is that the culture is the only way to have a good life / relationship. Let go before your fallen heart has time to feed it. You will see that in taking such a risk of being the exact opposite of what society expects (loving, open, silent, joyous, slow, encouraging, poor, vulnerable) leads to a far greater relationship; a relationship with the one who created this unimaginable world.
Now is when i bring in the fact that i read the beatitudes. Jesus came in and just exploded with the exact opposite of what everyone thought, “Those who mourn are fortunate!”, “Happy are those who are persecuted!”, “The meek and lowly are fortunate!”. These things make just as little sense back then as they do now. Jesus was not coming from a “my way or the highway” attitude, he came offering a gift that either we can take or leave. A gift that is never-ending; A gift that leads to a risky yet safe life; A gift that saves; A gift that fulfills what makes us different from the animals. If you think about it…with all the animals God created, the only inner difference is that we have the gift to love and be loved. A fly does not understand love. A dog does no know that when he dies, his owners will miss him. It lives knowing only what God gave him the ability to know. Just as we humans live only knowing what God gave us the ability to know. He doesn’t want us to worry about the future, if he did, he would have let us know it. He doesn’t want us to worry about our past, if he did, he would have let us change it. He created us just as he wanted. But we try and take over. We try to be our own God. We want control over our lives; We want to be able to predict our futures; We want to look to others pasts as a means judge, so we think we know a person. We want to be God. That is our “falleness”. We wanted to know what is good and evil, so we ate from the tree. Little did we know that in knowing good and evil leads to the ability to go to hell. God gave us what we wanted, and it was horrible. I can’t help but think what life would have been like if we didn’t know the difference of good and evil. We would only know that there are things God doesn’t want us to do and there are things that bring us joy. We could look at a nakedness and just see beauty…instead we see shame, and guilt. We could look at work and see a means to help God, instead we see it as our only reason for living. I like to think…and wonder, well what if…for me it is so encouraging. It shows me that what i have decided to live my life for is far greater then worry, far greater then pain, far greater then the earth. It is something that only those who have made the decision to accept the gift that Jesus came to give can fully understand. It is something that continues to give hope forever.
I want to be weird because Jesus was weird. He changed the world…not because he followed the culture and took over it, but because he broke right through it.
Lord let me be different then all I see around me. I want to see your truth, so that I may also share it with those who truly want it and need it.
Matthew 5 (Beatitudes)
Filed under: In Berlin
Well, it has began to get colder and colder here. We have has some snow and quite a lot of rain but I still very much enjoy it here. I’m just beginning to feel as if I am used to it now. I don’t mind going up to people and saying my 1 or 2 lines, then them saying what sounds like 30 million things in 2 seconds. I’v learnt to just continually say “ya…ya…das es gut”. Somehow it makes me feel smart. As well, I don’t mind the fact that most people think its rude to smile. haha. It seems when i go out smiling people look at me funny. I try not to show off that I have something to smile about, but sometimes God is just overwhelming. The more unhappy faces I see, the more I realize I have something amazing to share. Not to say that I know everything about how to be happy, but I know I have got something that gives me enough hope to make me a smile.
God gave me an idea this past week for the service on sunday. It was amazing how he worked all of it out. It just so happened that when i had this vision they had no speaker available for this sunday. It just so happened that one of the member of the church wrote a letter saying he was leaving the church because of lack of love and lack of commitment. While what my vision was about was love and commitment. I had actually already written it out. I wasen’t that i was speaking, but I really wanted to get people to listen to God, so we had a silent service, with some very powerful questions presented.
This coming weekend Fred and I, along with Andrew (our missionary host), are going to be speaking at a youth retreat that goes all day. I’m quite excited. God has given me some ideas that really get me excited to talk about. Last time I was supposed to talk about God in front of people I got so excited I ended up taking up the whole class, so hopefully God will bring the same passion. With prayer and silence, wull see what more ideas arise.
On Top of where they used to shoot down plains
Kiki taking a picture (Kedron’s nickname…they cant pernounce her name so its now Kiki)
Our Missionary hosts are in need of prayer for their son Marky. He went to the hospital for water being in his lungs. He is doing great, but they are keeping him there to make sure nothing gets worse. So let the prays fly and wull see how he does. He is supposed to only be in there for 2 days.
Anyways, I’m gonna finish off saying and overall statement. I’m going amazing. God is at work and I pray that i will continue to be along his side.
God Bless,
Jon
Filed under: In Berlin
Here are some picture for yall ta see.
Filed under: In Berlin
Well, here I am, still in Germany. It has been an amazing 4 days so far…or 5…not sure. But anyways, a little update on what has been happening: So far me and Fred are still hanging out at our missionaries household with there 3 amazingly fun kids. Though I absolutly love it here, it is by time we left. It is just too much for the family to have 3 kids, then 2 men that eat more then there family combined. We eat, we sleep, we take up quite a lot of space. And I know that those are all reasons that they don’t care much about, but I’m happy to go and discover more of Berlin, and Berlin culture.
Berlin is so far the most amazing city I have ever been in. It is massive, old, and yet still somehow new. There are hundreds of people biking around (which I love, because i can’t drive) because usually everything is near and no cars are necessary. My cold seems to be getting better as of today. I had a great sleep last night, with some fun dreams. As for learning German, Das es gut. I feel like I can understand most simple things and am getting the proper pronunciations down pretty well. We just finished prepping for tomorrows service. Fred is doing guitar, Andrew (Missionary) is doing the piano, and I am playing the Djembe. Oh! Good story… I went to a music class that Andrew teaches with my Djembe and had an amazing time. The kids (all 40 or 50 of them) surrounded me and watched as i soloed for a while. It was so funny! Every time i would hit it hard 4 or 5 kids would jump and go sqweeling off in joy.
God has continued to change so much in my life as I continually ask him too. My outlook on life has already changed from the time of being here. Mixed with reading this amazing book called “The Shack” and being around people that I can’t really doing anything besides be with them and try to learn there language, God has shown me some amazing things. I really was hit by how much he actually loves me. It seems I have been in a place where he love is not trusted in my life at all. Thinking about how a good father loves his son. What does he do? He cares for him no matter what he does. He provides for him the nessecities to live. He guides him to a life worth living. Then I though about how God loves me like that. Well…more then that…more then i can even imagine. It is a love that is doesn’t have words on earth to fully describe it. And here I singing about it in songs, praying for it in my prays, showing to others. Yet…if i truly believed that God loved me…would i worry about tomorrow and the past? If i truly believed that God loved me would I continue on worry of where my money is going to come from? If i trusted that God loved me would I even think about making sure I got everything planned out for retirement…thennn do my ministering? I don’t actually think that is trust…I think that is something that i do because I am still in belief that he would not doing anything to make sure my life is good in his eyes, and the he would not die for me in order to be with him. Reading this book “The Shack” has shown me a father who would rather himself go to hell then for him to go to heaven, but then pick 3 of his 5 children to go to hell. Imagine that? Choosing from your children, which will go to hell… Now imagine God’s love for us. Does he ever want any of us to go to hell? No, in fact he humbled himself and came into our sinful human form and lived a perfect life, to only in the end be murdered in a horrible way. He died for his children! And here I am…worrying, that if i don’t get all these thing right, my life is going to be horrible, and I’m going to die with my life having been wasted! Ohh mann…I would hate to say on my deathbed…Why didn’t I do _____. Why didn’t i trust in God’s love for me and give up on independence; give up on trying to make sure IIII provide for myself; giving up on all the stuff IIII deserve. The truth is…God’s yoke is light. Following him is not a sacrifice, it’s a surrender. A surrender to this body that he put me in. If i happen to die while on such a surrender…so be it…I have already given this body to God. I would love to go to heaven and say “oh hey…i guess I’m early”, but then hear the response “Nope you are here, exactly when he expected”. This may seem extreme to some…death and all…by no means do I desire to end God’s usage of me on this earth, I looove to listen and be used by him. But I mean…c’mon…Heaven?…Earth? which one would you choose.
Well…anyways, it is getting late and I fell like a made a point well known. So I must be off. Have a great time till I can write again.
God Bless!
