Filed under: In Berlin
God is amazing. Today I had an amazing experience with service in God. Though it has been a while since I last updated and we have gone to places like Espelkamp, Dresden, and Rome, this day has been amazing.
I woke up after coming home from Rome and it turned out that we (trek team) were on for the service the next morning. Fred had been planning his sermon for the past week while in Rome, but the rest of us where involved in doing the Drime (skit thing) that the Lord had given me. I don’t remember if I explained this much before but the Lord has supplied me with this skit that I brought to the team and we have made so much impact with this one play of no words. Because it has come from the heart, our team performs it with passion and emotion, realizing that it is really part of each of us in some way. On arrival to church at 9:30 we were preparing our things and praying over our imvolvment in the service. We performed the skit once over just to get a feel for how much space was in the room, and I felt really nothing about it. My heart was not into the skit and I really just felt no hope for this time really making an impact. Since Fred was going to be speaking on having a right heart, I really had this playing over and over in my head. I didn’t want to really even reach out for some reason. I knew I was in need of prayer. I just went to the dirty bathroom they have there (its pretty stinky…) into one of the stalls and knelt down. I began to pray for a right heart. I prayed honestly to God that I just didn’t feel right in my heart and I didn’t want to do it, but that he would supply my passion and emotion. I finished up and began greeting the people as they came to church. Being a very international church there (this is the main church we’ve been with in Berlin) is a lot of different nations represented, we have people from Holland, Spain, Russia, Germany, Canada, Us, China, Korea, and I’m sure others. But next we had our worship time… Now this was really the first time ever I had actually been able to take great joy in singing to God in German. Normally I find it hard to really praise him with vocal words when I don’t know exactly what I am saying, but this time was different. God has supplied me with such joy that I ended up kneeling most of the time we sang. God has touched me, and I began to realize why… Because I had asked him to… After worship it was the skit…
I got up there and as soon as I began, I felt the most passionate I ever had about this skit. I performed with tears in my eyes. I was actually shaking in the times when the skit emphasized suffering; I was actually overjoyed when the skit emphasized being overjoyed; I was actually feeling everything that the skit portrayed. Everyone was left in silence at the end of it… It was now my time to say some words about what all the actions were about. I began with saying, “This play is a play that is very close to my heart, for it is my life…”. I began to cry… Many began crying with me… For it was the same in many of their lives at well. The struggles of trying to serve God in a fallen word. Having times of absolute confusion of what God is doing, and how he can use such horrible things to bring good. Many felt the same tears I was shedding. Next I said, “Don’t mind my tears, because they are tears of absolute joy…”. I began to cry even more, making it really hard to say anything more, but lastly I said, “God is faithful… always… always…” I put the microphone down and sat down… We had a time of silence. The only sound left was people crying.
Needless to say, I felt so amazed… here I come to church not even wanting to reach out, yet God had answered my prayer that I did kneeling in the toilet stall. He heard me, and was faithful. My doubts were so crushed that I couldn’t help but cry more. Fred got up and began speaking about our hearts. I basically cried the entire service out of joy.
At the end we had a few more songs of worship. I was feeling a bit odd because, what do I do after… People are going to come up to me and say things like, “good job”, “well-done”, “the was touching”, not to say I don’t mind when people encourage in such a way, but I just felt like being totally alone to soak in what God had just done. I began to sing, I stood up, I went to the corner near the end of the song so that I may easily go to the bathroom again and get away from people. But Andrew (Missionary Pastor) came up to me and put his arm around me. He began to tear up… Then a guy named Mario (from Argentine) came to me as well… Now for Mario to come to me was something I couldn’t handle, because he had just had his closest brother die about 3 months ago, and now his mother was on the verge of dying. He came with all his troubles and worries about trust in God and put his arm around me. The three of us all began to weep. Out of joy and trust in God faithfulness. They began praying passionately for me and the situation in English, in Spanish, in German, and in tongues.
I began to realize just how amazing God truely has been in my life… I had no idea of why… I was actually angry in a weird way that I had never really felt before. I couldn’t understand why God has chosen me in just a short time of 2 years to go from hating life, to having freedom to cry for joy in front of an entire church. I looked at the two other men praying with tears and realized that this is what God does. There is no other time in someones life when they will be with two full grown men crying their eyes out for such a joy that goes beyond earthly understanding, unless they have God. Unless they realize what life is really made for.
I went back to the toilet stall, I just let loose with my tears. I felt like I was 5 years old again crying over not getting something I wanted, or falling down. But now being 20 and having the Lord, I was crying over how generous God is, how much blessing he gives such a, may I say, worthless human being. How could God pick me out of so many Billions of people in the world to give his blessing. All I have ever said to God is, “I am willing”, and he has taken me from such darkness and confusion into such light and joy. I love God. He is faithful… always… always..
God Bless, (he will)
Jon
Filed under: In Berlin
Things continue to be amazing here. We have been traveling and serving. Though things are somewhat hard with developing relationship, but then just having to leave a week later, God is continually teaching me more and more about how he truly is a loving father to me. The phrase, “serving in the overflow” has taken a new meaning for me. It has been proven time and time again that if I don’t abide and give God my all over all first. I fall. It could be something as simple as saying the wrong word at the wrong time, causing someone who looks up to me to fall. Or it could be a total loss for words in from of 30 people that are looking to be challenged and encouraged… I fall… I love to abide in God, but Satan loves to trick me into thinking it isn’t as important as somethings.
With that being said, I wrote this thing for TREK back home, explaining a skit the God gave to me one night. It has been an amazing encouraging tool for many. We perform it as a team to youth groups, services, and other things soon to come. But I tried to keep it short, but apparently when I get passionate about things I can’t help but write too much. They said to send a “short quote”, and I send what is below along with even more explanation. But it was good for me to write it out and realize more of why I wrote it. But till next time…
God Bless
The skit is about a brand new believer. On his face he begins as Satan continues to press his foot into the lost souls back. He is freed of his old ways. He has his first love for God and enjoys the benefits of the way belonging to the family of God feels. Though, in short time, the devil comes back with distractions, leading the believer to very gradually fall away from God. He has no idea what is wrong, yet feels that there is just something missing in the times of worship that used to be so amazing. He continues on being more and more busy with life, until Satan has his right where he wants him and throws him to the ground to be flat on his face once again. The believer is confused because he thought that God wouldn’t let such things happen. All he sees is that he is now looking face down and can’t get up. He tries and tries, but the weight of his collected burdens is just too much. The only energy that is left is him is to hold his hands out in hopes that something greater will once again save him. In his cry for hope two angels come from God to pull the burdens from his hands and help him. The believer is in such joy; he has seen the power of God in a much greater way. He is able to get up and be on his own two feet again. He passes by the angels without much notice. His joy has taken over. He begins to run from place to place telling of this amazing thing that happened to him. He begins to really think he knows what God is, but once again… In all the believers running joy, Satan takes advantage of those two feet, for they are so very vulnerable. The passion hits a smacking stop as the believer falls to the ground once again. This time in anger, because he thought that he had got over this “falling thing”; he thought that God wouldn’t ever let him fall… While pounding on the ground in anger at God, he finally gives up. He throws his hands and says to God, “never again”. Yet, the angels come back… They come back and do nothing but wait for him to realize that they are there to pick him back up again. He looks once, twice, three times. The passion to run on his own two feet again drives him away from looking face down. He tries to get up to his feet again, but the hand of the angel on his right holds him down. He tries to other side, yet again is held down. He looks to the angels and realizes that they are on their knees, and there they hold him, on his knees. He looks up to God once again and realizes that this is where he is supposed to be. Not on his own two feet, not flat on his face, but on his knees. Serving with full passion, yet serving with the limitation of being on his knees. He raises his hands in praise to the Lord for this realization while taking comfort on his knees, for that is where he will stay.
