Filed under: Home (after Germany)
This is a writing that came while I was pondering my reasoning / purpose behind leading a group in worship on Thursday nights.
I just read some Bible and out poured a bunch of words…so if anyone is still reading my blog…God Bless
: )
Why am I here?
“Go and stand out before me on the mountain,” the Lord told him. And as Elijah stood there the Lord passed by, and a mighty windstorm hit the mountain; it was such a terrible blast that the rocks were torn loose, but the Lord was not in the wind. After the wind, there was an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake. And after the earthquake, there was a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire. And after the fire, there was the sound of gentle whisper. When Elijah heard it, he wrapped his face in his scarf and went out and stood at the entrance of the cave.
And the voice said, “Why are you here, Elijah?”
Why am I here? Why do I choose the help in worship? Is it because I become the center of attention? It is because I get bonus points with God? Is it because I feel good when people follow me? Is it because I feel “good” inside and like that feeling? Is it because the louder I sing and the more I let go, the more free I “feel”…or is it because I actually am free?
Am I in a place of doubt and only coming out of my hole when God shows himself? Do I continually try to find God in the wind, earthquakes, fires, and other great ways (ie feeling like he is there)? Or do I realize that if I even hear a whisper that is something praise worthy. Do I continue to wait for the amazing things to come around and lead me before I actually trust the ever-present whisper? Do I trust that whisper enough to be free? Free to come out of my box; free to come out of the pack and be someone different; free to be different not to stand out, but to help out. Can I be that person that is so different that they actually serve their neighbor not try to be better then them?
What is life all about? Do I come to worship that I may increase my popularity in order that people will like me more, so that I could fulfill that empty hope of being everyone’s favorite? Is being the best my goal for life…is being the best God’s goal in my life? Or is life about something bigger? Is worship about something more that being the best, or feeling the best, or looking the best, singing the best, being the “most” free…or is it about being a servant? Is it about realizing your uselessness in the life, and thanking God that you actually have something to live for either then money / sex / loads of friends / always being busy.
Ask yourself this question in life… “and then what?”. When you have a goal in life, and you think you no longer need God to really achieve it, ask yourself this… “and then what?” When you finally reach your “life-marker” of being married, having a boy/girlfriend, getting the right job, having the right amount of money, graduating from college, graduating from high-school…ask yourself… “and then what.” That is where I need God. I have been let down so many times by thinking that my life would finally mean something when I reached “the Goal!”. When I finally got good at tennis, when I finally could play guitar well, when I finally got my first girlfriend. I finally reached those supposedly fulfilling life things, but when I finally did have them…you know what was next? I wanted to be better at tennis, I wanted to be better then others at guitar, my girlfriend never filled that hole that only God can fill. God is hope. God shows us that no matter how much you strive for in earthy ways, it will always come up empty…but if you have that relationship with God…everything changes. Not just the half in half out relationship, but the real deal…everything changes. That hole of, “and then what” is no longer an issue. When people ask you, you can respond in confidence that you have no idea…you don’t even know if you will live past tomorrow. All you know is there is a God who created everything, and he loves you more than life itself. HE LOVES YOU! You know what that means? HE LOVES YOU! There is no more “and then what” is just becomes, “and then I get to die and get to be with even more intimate with the God who loves me.”
“How one views death is how one lives life.”
-Jon
Am I here to be the center of attention? Am I here for brownie points? No, I’m here because the hope that God has brought me, leads me to a response of worshiping him with my every second that is given…Is all singing worship?…Is helping someone worship? Is your next footstep worship? It your next thought worship?
…It can be…
