Filed under: Home (after Germany)
Is it fear of feeling that drives you to knowledge? Is it the fear that you will feel terrible about yourself if you don’t succeed that keeps you going on to what you think success is? I would argue that feeling is what the world lives by. Feeling is what drives us to certain things over others. I don’t feel like doing homework, therefore I am not going to enjoy doing it. I don’t feel like loving someone, therefore my attempts will be tainted. I don’t feel like having the bad feelings of failure in my life, therefore I continue to strive for success. It is fear of feeling itself that scares me so much that I don’t follow God in exactly what he wishes for me life. Why do I fear feelings? Cannot God always bring me good feelings as I draw closer to him? If I am constantly in his presence his joy is passed to me giving me strength in everything I do, even if it looks a complete failure. I am not to be afraid of anything, for fearing anything is only fearing the feeling of what it brings. And feeling is constantly brightened by growth closer and closer to God in trust. As I remain in the vine, I will bear fruit. As I remain in the vine I will be strengthened. As I remain in the vine, he will remain in me. But outside of the vine, fear of bad feelings will get the best of me.
