Jon the Baptist.

Place where Jesus was tempted...

This is too glorious, too wonderful to believe! I can never be lost to your Spirit! I can never get away from my God! If I go up to heaven, you are there; if I go down to the place of the dead, you are there; if I go down to the place of the dead, you are there.  If I ride the morning winds to the farthest oceans, even there your hand will guide me, your strength will support me.  If I try to hide in the darkness, the night becomes light around me.  For even darkness cannot hide from God; to you the night shines as bright as day. Darkness and light are both alike to you.” Ps. 139

Things are continuing on.  The days are going faster and faster.  Though it seems every week is better then the last.  This past two weeks has been an enormous amount of learning facts and truths.  I say the facts and truths becuase sometimes facts don’t prove anything, they just get in the way of it.  We have been going to all the places that are “Possibly” the places where Jesus did this, or where that city was located, or where this event happened.  It is interesting to see just how hazy things are for those that are supposed to be seen at the specialist.  The walls of Jericho first first proven to be found in 1950, but then due to bad excavation it was proven eitherwise later…  There is a church over where Jesus was born…  But apparently it is proven that it actually wasn’t there.  I get to hear not only the tour guides comments about what happened, but the scientists perspective of what the facts actually say.  It seem the facts just never line up perfectly…

Being among all these really smart people has been crazy.  There is just oodles and goodles of knowledge around me.  I have a question I just ask one of the guys who has his PHD, or the guy who recites who books from memory if you so ask him (It took him 45 mins to go through the whole book of Revelation…), or ask the guy who has written a book upon the whole subject.  It is crazy how brilliantly small I have become.  Theological discussions come up all the time, as you could imagin, and the facts just fly!  One can prove this, the other that, the other comes in saying, “well, we have different theologies”, another looking on in confusion as to the big theological words being spoken.  For some reason this is really unatractive to me…  Not so much the aspect of talking over beliefs and truths, but looking to the spirit it is said from.  One begins by being vulnerable and bringin up something they confess to with their heart, then the next person just comes along and says, “well… from this, this, and this, “we” know that is not true…”, the next person comes and sides with one of them… the next sides as well.  All the sudden you get to this place where there is somthing much deeper going on than just talking about what you believe.  There is this deep seeded desire for your side to be right…  Your every thought is consumed by the fact that this other person in front of you does not see how obvious the “real” truth is.  So much so, that the mind begins to say that this person in front of you is “lesser” or ever so slightly judges by you to be seen as someone in the wrong.  It always starts as such a small shift of judgement…  then that judgement festers, you begin to gosip, you begin to see that person and perhaps looks through them instead of at them.  You no longer can value that person…  You have just decided in your mind that because that person has not the decensy to see life your way that they somehow dont deserve your love of Jesus.  I have seen it very much here…  Not to judge… but this has been on my heart.  Seeking “truth” can consume someone so much that they forget the very simplicity that is right in front of their face.  The simplicity of having one who is made in the image of Jesus right in front of you.  He is there, in those people that you are arguing with; in those people that you give yourself reasoning for not loving; in those people that you think that just don’t quite get it.

We went to meet a Syrian Abbot (Fairly high level in the Syrian Church) his name was Simoun (arabic).  We had a very rare experience of his being open with a group of about 10 of us.  Normally (as our teacher describe) such vulnerable comments are never heard from such a man in that position.  He was describing the church, and it is in desparate need.  He meets with all the church leaders of Jerusalem and he complaint was that it was all talk.  So much talking and Jesus’ love not being shown…  He raise his hands in confusion saying, “Where is Jesus love?  Where is it…?”  From the tear in his eye I could tell this was no show for us outsiders, but his heart.  He couldn’t see Jesus love…  Going through the streets…  Where is it?  I thought to myself…  Can I see it?  Where is the last time I have seen Jesus love?  When was the last time I was Jesus love?  The love of putting others first; the love that sacrifices their own well being for the simple act of showing someone you care…  Is trying to prove someone wrong showing them that you care?  Is trying to make your point known going to lead to someone following Jesus?  Or would proving someone that you care by sacrificing your own means showing love?  Would anyone understand this love in all the earth?  Are you so obsessed with being right that you can’t love those around you?  Are you trying to hard to find the truth that you are walking right by it while it sits on the streets?

Wasn’t that one of Jesus temptations?  Satan told him… “jump and have the lord save you… everyone will believe that you are truely the Son of God then”.  Jesus temptation was to prove to everybody that he was the Son?  Why would Satan temp him in that?  Is that not counter to what he wants everyone to know?  Or is it that Jesus was not to prove to everyone…  Was it God will that he only show those that God has chosen for him?  Maybe there is a lesson here for me as well…  Maybe I am not to focus on proving to people that I am right… but love them…  Sure I know truth…  God has taught it to me…  But does that mean that everyone is ready for it (Mark 4:33…)?  Perhaps proving myself right is not my job, but God’s.  He is the only one who can choose to start a relationship with someone who is lost.  I am simply here to give them the introduction He deserves…

Blessings!

Jarrod Going into a hole from 8000 BC!

Things have continued to get much better.  This past week was absolutely amazing.  Though it seems I am getting enveloped into my homework, I kind of like it.  This is probably the first time in my life where I have actually sat and did upwards of 6 – 8 hours of homework a day.  The weird thing is, I’m actually not really ahead…

I am beginning to see a huge difference in my two most recent long-ish term trips.  Germany was an all out immersion in the culture.  I was continually being challenged to talk with locals, work alongside non-english speaking people, dive into scripture for what I was going to say at the next meeting…  Here is much different.  I am finding that I’m not forced anymore to do such things.  I have to continually choose to put myself in uncomfortable positions.  The Lord has been saying some interesting things to me lately.  He had some thing to say about my 6 – 8 hours of homework.  He especially didn’t want me to be doing it for someone either then him:

I had a bit of a crisis the other day…  I finished breakfast at 6:45am in preparation for our field study.  After I went innocently to go brush my teeth.  I thought it a great idea.  Little did I know that brushing my teeth would take such time.  I was walking down pondering the idea of the group leaving without me.  I laughed and shrugged off such a heretical thought.  Upon arrival to the gate at 7:08, I made the deduction that in fact there was no one there.  My false heresy had shifted to become the wretched truth.  My heart pounding, I ran to the gate forgetting the fact that I had forgotten my key, which is needed to get out.  I couldn’t see anyone out the gate but I rushed up to my room anyway to get the key in hopes of getting out and finding the obvious white tourist group.  I ran out, and realized within three steps that I had no idea which direction was right.  In fact I ran in all directions.  I ran a little ways down not seeing anyone.  I ran a little ways up not seeing anyone.  I ran a little ways backwards in hopes that I was actually early and everyone else late… It wasn’t true.  I felt so vulnerable and hopeless.  I haven’t had such an awakening in a long time.  It seemed as though my grade just made the leap from hopeful to an immanent failure.  As we humans tend to do, I took such an idea of failure much further then necessary.  If there is one feeling reserved for the feeling of your life ending, I think I used my reserve.  Funny though, that it didn’t end…  Funny that that was actually the exact lesson I needed to remember who is in control.  Just that easily all my worth in school can be set on a tipping point.  I can see not that that feeling is not something that one trusting in God is to feel.  One is not to feel as though ones life is ending when an earthly possession such as grades is gone.  One is to trust.

I have found so many things here that distract me from God.  That is the biggest difference from here to Germany.  In Germany I was kept totally uncomfortable, yet that is exactly where God needs his people so they don’t go trusting in themselves.  I have come to the realization that to be forced into a position of trusting in God is a blessing.  Just as Moses has to leave Egypt for a land where there was no big rivers, no great farming, no great land.  The promise wasn’t that they would have loads of materials for comfort, but that they would have to depend on the rains of the land which God himself provided.  The promise land was a place where they were forced to trust in God…away from the distraction of slavery and comfort.  Comfort is my enemy at this point.  I don’t need to be in the word, I have so much other reading to do; I don’t need to be praying for help in ministry, for I am doing so little.  Yet as soon as I got away from such practices and putting homework first, my heart began to feel it.  God reminded me that no matter how much homework I have, putting time with him first is a must.

Looking Out

Jerusalem 2009

Interestingly enough I look out my window and I find myself in looking out towards buildings and plants unlike any I’ve seen with these eyes before.  In fact if I am to look out my window and down I can see hell…  Well, maybe not your typical idea of hell.  But when Jesus talked of hell he refered to the valley of hennom, and it just so happens to be right below my view from the school.

But so far things have been really great.  Either then having a really bad fever for 3 days upon arrival, I have continually been able to take in and enjoy the place I am at.  Though enjoyment is of the greater category, it’s hasn’t been what my entire focus is captivated with.  Sure I can look around and see new things, but soon those will be old things.  What I have just been introduced to was a much larger view of my own life.  I went to some of the places of worship and places of just living here, and the more I saw the smaller I found myself.  There is just so much to learn, so much that I had not even the slightest incline of existence that I feel 10,002 times smaller.

Going to the Holy Sepulchre (place where Jesus was crucified and burried) and gazing upon these men following a path that they have followerd there whole lives, carried the same insence baskets there whole lives, sang the same songs their whole lives, all out of the sake of tradition.  Their lives are given to follow a tradition.  The weird thing to me was that they worship Jesus, just as I do.  Yet… look at how different we act.  They do things because thats what has been done and told them to do.  I do things because I want to know more about God.  They sing songs and walk in the same fasion everyday (every single day!) in complete belief that that is what worshipping God is…  Now don’t get me wrong, I’m looking up to these people.  Their detication to the things that seem extremely boring are amazing.  I have no idea how I could do such things over and over again without going crazy.  But, is one of us wrong?  Would God let one of his children be wrong?  Can there but such veriety in the worship of Jesus that you get people that can do it without even knowing that their hearts are supposed to be in it as well, and people that do it out of the overflow…  I don’t really get it…  I feel so small…yet so comforted…  I have not a shred of doubt in my mind that I love to worship God…  I don’t really know why I want this, but my goal in life is for eversingle thing that this body can muster up to be worship for God.  It is totally possible.

While I looked upon their form of worship, all I saw was bordom and what seemed a total ignorance as to what they were doing and who they were doing it for.  I mean I would do the exact same.  If I worshiped God with the same song, same walk, same choices, same thing everyday I would get bored and not want to do it anymore.  Maybe God even gets bored…  Maybe thats why he put in us the ability to get bored… for the sake of saving our passion, that we might be forced to use our imaginations to worship him, and not just a comfortable routene.

Walkin around campus

I guess my real thought is: if these these people have totally given there every day to the sake of Jesus, and it looks like hell…and I am attempting to give up every day…and it feels like heaven… Then how can we be seeking the same Jesus?  Everyday I give up more (which is not nearly as much as they have given up), yet the closer I come the greater joy I have; the greater passion I have; the greater desrire for more I have…  Are we after the same Jesus?  If so… what if the difference between them and me?

Again… I feel small, yet the God I’m intertwined with seems to be getting so much bigger.

My Room