Back at it!

Hey all,

Just thought I would update anyone who is still looking in here to my life.

Things have been a-shiften, if you don’t mind me saying so in a funny manner.  I got home to not having the usual house that I stay at.  It was sold.  It has actually been a good thing.  A good motivator to get me going on from old places.  Though Tsawwassen has been my home for many years, it seems that my community there is hard to find.  I come home to find that relationships are not really re-entered, but rebuilt.  Some are lost, some are remaining.  Some are more distant.  Some are closer.  Some come out of nowhere.  Some cause joy.  Others bring back memories both good and bad.  It may seem like I’m saying some of this in a sad state, but that is not true.  It is just that feeling that many missionaries, and those that have moved a lot start to feel.  You enter what once was home, only to find that it is really just another missionary field to begin a new work.  It is like starting over in many senses.  Home, as so many have said in the past, is simply the place where you have community.  It is the place where you don’t have the constant anxiety of wondering who your friends are.  It is the place where you don’t have the constant anxiety of trying to have something good to tell others you are doing so you feel dignified in some weird way.  Home is where you have peace.  Thanks to the Lord and his Holy Spirit we are able to have peace anywhere.  Perhaps it is more fleeting in some places more than others, but the same God is everywhere.  His rules apply across the universe.

I was worshipping the other day and was blessed by peace.  It seems there is much to not be at peace about, but in the Lord’s presence I have found it.  It is sad that it lasts for such a short time, but all the more reason to go back to him and worship with all my heart.  It is where I have found my strength to remain. My strength of getting through those times where you soul just doesn’t want to be at peace. We must worship!  I have learned this the past year.  In all those times where I felt lonely or just out of passion, it was in worship that my bitterness once again was turned to thankfulness.  It is worship of him that we are made.  So it makes sense that if I am not worshipping him with all my heart in what I do that I start to go empty.  Just as a car does not run on air, my soul does not run off nothing.  But if I want to keep a heart on fire for the Lord it is going to take maintenance.  Not hard maintenance, but joyful, passionate, all-heart giving worship.

This has been some of what has been on my mind.  I hope I can encourage all out there who are empty in soul that the Lord does fill!  He will bring peace.  Perhaps it seems the farthest things from reality, but that it when seeing him come through will mean all the more.

A song that I keep on repeat right now is:  Love Came Down by Bryan Johnson.  I suggest it.  Not just once, but all day!

Blessings until next time.

New Places, New Faces, New Miracles

As of late we have been living in another part of Guadalajara studying and serving at another church.  The church is called Casa de Paz (House of Peace) and is only about 2 years old, but has been growing immensely and has great vision for what the Lord can do in this community.  It has been a blessing this past few days to be living in another area.  Though our team is together most of the day, we are again all sleeping in different houses.  This time I am living with a poorer family within Guadalajara.  They have little materially, but much spiritually.  It has been amazing to learn from them.  Though they do not have much extravagant words, or a list of their degrees, they have joy unlike I’ve ever seen.  The Father of the household works upwards of 13 hours a day 6 days a week at a pants making factory.  The Mother can’t work for she has to take care of their daughter who is 12 and their son who is 4 who has a form of down syndrome.  They have experienced many miracles in their family.  They had their first daughter, but could not have a second for Carolyn’s (the mother) womb with incapable of doing so… according to doctors.  One day a Christian who received a message for them came to them.  They were not Christians but nonetheless received the message with hope, for they were told that they would be having another child.  Sure enough without doctoral explanation they had another child.  This child was born without use of his legs, and was later to have no ability to speak.  3 years when by and little change except for his size.  But through connections with some friends they went to a local church where their child was prayed over.  He is now able to walk, and talk.  Though he still talks in a limited manner, and requires assistance walking up and down stairs he had miraculously developed.  He is now 4 and we are able to talk and play with his toys together.  Everyday I get to wake up and see his smile.  It is huge!  Everyday living with this family I am reminded that our Lord does miracles.  Not only with their child has the Lord blessed them, but with their house.  4 years back when Carolyn was pregnant with their son, they were having great troubles financially and were living with family.  They went from family member to family member looking for somewhere to stay for all their possessions had been taken away including their house.  This was very troubling for them for they didn’t know what they were going to do with their son that was on the way.  But in time and the Lord’s provision the Father (Raul) was able to get a job.  Step by step they made it back into a house.  The only issue was that they had no money to fill it with anything.  But the Lord is faithful.  Upon moving in, random people started coming to their house asking if they wanted whatever it was the person had.  Some came with tables.  Some came with chairs.  Some came with sofas.  Eventually the house was filled.  As we were sitting at their dinner table I looked around the room.  They told me that everything in their downstairs had just come to them.  It was not the most elegant or expensive of things, but it was totally filled.  The Lord had blessed them and continues to do so.  The joy that they have is unlike any other I have seen.  It is not that they do not struggle and have hard times, but their hearts are pure.

Immanuel (The Miracle Child of the family)

I think about this everyday I am there.  I am able to meet this family who is very simple in style of living.  They have little or no time to serve in the church or seek the Lord’s kingdom with great passion, but the Lord chooses to bless them.  The Lord sees his children and gives.  My view of how God is only going to help me if I do great things for his kingdom has been pushed aside.  My view of the Lord’s grace has grown greatly from being able to be with them and hear their story.  I want to learn more of our Lord because of them.  Raul, the father, told me something of great importance that he learned actually from some mormons who came to their house to help them before.  They are not mormons themselves, but learned from them that spending time thanking the Lord when you wake up, when you eat, and when you go to bed is very important.  I have began this discipline.  Sometimes I forget they I have much to be thankful for.

Some More Info on the Weekend

This week was an amazing week topped off with an interesting weekend. We spend the week training and usual. Training was better. It seems every week training becomes better because I can understand Spanish better. Though I have always been able to understand most of what Trever and Joan are saying every week I am more able to do so without a headache and desire to stop after 15 minutes. The first week was really hard trying to pay attention in Spanish for all the testimonies and lessons, but now it is bearable. Today, in fact, a couple arrived from Kansas to see if they would like to do missions here for a longer term. They spoke little to no Spanish, which made me feel like a pro. It was a good feeling, thought I know not to trust in its joy for all that long because as soon as they leave I am back to pushing to understand and speak for every sentence.

This weekend was eventful because we found out that we were able to go to the border with another missionary couple here. The issue was that we didn’t find out until 7pm on Friday when we were to leave at 4am Saturday morning. Now this isn’t a huge issue for those who have been in mission for a while, time is one thing your really learn to be flexible with, but it was the start to a much different weekend then I was hoping for. I wanted some time to relax and get some homework done. Instead I was not going to be in a car for more than 28 hours in the period of three days. It took us 15 hours there and 12 to get back. Having been somewhat up to date with the news we also knew this wasn’t going to be the most safest of journeys. The reason it took us three hours more on the way there was because first of all we got pulled over by cops when entering Monterrey (one of the cities most known for being involved in the war on drugs). Now these cops aren’t your ordinary trying to help you out or keep the roads safe kind of cops, but they are the type that are looking for any cars full of “whities” so that they can scare them into giving them a large bribe. We talked for an hour. They told us all kinds of lies about how we have to go to jail from not having the right papers to having a small pocket knife in one of our bags in the back. They were consistent in their game. They even went as far as waving down a tow truck to take us away. But just as was assumed, after all the arguing, they finally gave the out. They told us, “Just give us 4000 pesos and we will call it even.” Knowing that we did nothing wrong and that 4000 pesos was way too much for any reasonable bribe, we prayed. Three of us were in the back praying while the other two argued. Sure enough they guy who was most fervent in getting us to jail came into the car to talk to us. We got on the topic of being missionaries and believing in God the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. His eyes changed. He said nothing, but I knew something was different. He left the car and they continued arguing. They brought the bribe down to 2000. Then James came back over and asked us if we should just go for it with 2000. But I felt in my spirit that that would be a cop out on what I was expecting from the Lord. I knew he could get us through this and I expected him to. I told James to just wait for them to come back from their cop car. They came back and just told us to leave… The one guy came to my window and shook my hand and gave us his phone number and address if we are ever in the area again to check out his church that they were just starting. He explained that his buddies with him were all Catholics and didn’t really believe. He was pressured to be as they were but this time he told us that the Holy Spirit wanted us to go. It was a gift from Christian to Christian. We were much obliged and were on our way as quickly as possible just in case the other three decided to change this guys mind. This built a great confidence in my trust in the Lord. As well as being stopped by the cops, we also ran into a bomb threat right as we were able to cross the border. That slowed us down for another hour and half. Though it was much less eventful, the Lord protected us the whole way through.

I thank the Lord for getting us there and back!  And I thank all of your for your prayers.  They are what keep me going!

Blessings

The Changes Continue…

This week was an amazing week of resting and hangout with some of the other missionaries here.  James and Alyssa Wiest are missionaries with MB mission who lived in California but will now be spending the next 3 years here in Guadalajara.  In transition of the Hadime program we had the week before I have been living with them.  Their house is on the outskirts of the city so it really took me from being able to do much else either then relax, finish my Spanish homework, and hang out with them.  James is only two years older than me and Alyssa is only one year, so it made for a lot of fun.  It was a good transitional period and filling of English before the real 5 month Hadime Internos starts.  Hadime now just complete the first day of Hadime Internos I was very glad to have had that time.  There is a great overload of Spanish, for every lecture and conversation is in Spanish.  My brain is being stretched again.

Hanging out at the Matthew Centre

Though going through a shift in scheduled, I have also noticed a big difference in what the Lord is doing in my life.  He has brought a new life to my Spirit.  He has reminded me of many spiritual disciplines that bring greater intimacy.  But the awesome thing isn’t just the disciplines, but that he re-taught me that there is much more to a discipline than just the discipline, it is a means to let the Lord change you, not you to change yourself.  I have spent much time the past year trying to change myself and not letting the Lord do his miraculous work in me.  For just as it is a miracle that I came to know him in the first place, it continues to be only by his miraculous spirit that I can be transformed.  He has reminded me the importance of letting go.  The weird thing is that I knew it all along, but now I feel his spirit within it.  I feel him actually changing me.  I feel peace.  I feel his presence.  This has been such a struggles this past year.  Though he has been explaining much.  He has been showing me where I turned and walked down a path where it would have been unwise for him to give me peace for I would have continued walking that way.  He has showed me that his Spirit works in time.  There are times where he really needs to speak and if we do not listen then the only way to get our attention seems to be struggle.  My cursing have turned to praise now that his Spirit is once again close.

We will see how this continues for I am once again in a new situation, with new people, new obstacles keeping me from him, new ways to mess up, new ways to do good.  Hadimes Internos has started and I really desire the Lord to keep the community in a place of unity and joy.  It seems there is a mixed bunch with much room to ignore each other.  I hope and pray this doe not happen and that we may have the full experience of the Lord living in community.

 

War of Joy / Battleground: Earth

The War for the Well of Joy

I found myself doing my devotions today.  I didn’t much feel like doing them…  It was getting later in the day and I figured I should get doing other things.  But I knew from experience that seeking the Lord is like eating.  It really helps during the day…  But alongside of that I wondered really why I didn’t want to seek the Lord this morning.  Or more so why I didn’t want to read my Bible… It seems there is something that chains me to is instead of me coming to it for life.  Why is it that I do it and feel as though it is just another chore to get done…  Perhaps it is unwise, but I don’t want my times with the Lord to be chores to get done.  I don’t want my time with him to be something I get done so I can get onto other more important things.  It seems then I would just be treating him as another “healthy act” in taking care of my body.  I would be walking down the lines of those “healthy body, soul, and spirit” books that so many new age writers are writing about.  This idea of making sure just like feeding your body you need to feed it spiritually as well… they tell you to go into yourself and find peace.  But the Holy Spirit is not that.  He is not some thing I go to in order for another means.  I don’t go to him so I can be someone great and affect people, and be crazy… for once I start down that path my reason for him is so easily switched to myself.  Myself getting out of worry.  Myself getting out of looking bad if I have nothing really “impacting” to say.  Myself getting out of potential trials that though the Lord has planned I treat as him cursing me and not paying attention to all the times I have been “devoted” to him.  The switch goes from a relationship of wanting to be with someone to simply having to be with someone in order to have the end myself desires.  The switch is made into legalism.  The switch goes from going to the Lord to praise him, meditate upon his character, learning how to be more like my heavenly Father… to this thing that I have to do… or else… something bad will happen.  Something bad will always happen.  But in seeking the Spirit for who he is we are not then alone in this bad thing that will come.  The bad thing then becomes a time of having to go to the Lord more in order that we may show temptation that we are committed to him and not whatever may be pulling us at the moment.  God is in control.  God will allow trails that you may show your devotion to him.  God will be there with you and bring you comfort.  Satan will pull all he can at you not to go to him.  Satan doesn’t so much care that you have done things that may seem pretty great as long as you are kept from knowing the presence of Jesus.  For in knowing his presence there is much to be joyous for.  In knowing his presence the striving for something more lessens in the world.  In knowing the Lord’s presence and walking humbly with him we can actually take great joy in the Lord… and one who takes great joy in the Lord is of greatest enemies to the Enemy.  For one who is greatly joyous in the Lord is contagious no matter where he is.  One who is joyous from nothing this world offers has a joy the cannot be taken away from anything Satan possesses.  Just think, what makes one who is bitter toward a person all the more bitter but to see that the person they are bitter at is not alongside in their bitterness, but taking joy.  It drives the enemies bitterness all the more.

I will seek the Lord for him.  I will seek what he has for me in the trails.  I will seek his presence.  I will seek to walk humbly with him and not be pulled in the lie of fear.  The only thing that I need to fear is God.  Fear of not being on his side…  Fear of not pleasing him with my actions.  Fear of what he will say of my life come the time I see him face to face.

Random but enjoyable picture of holding Karin hold off Diego from the Christmas gifts

I hope I can encourage any reader to know that in submission to the Lord you will find what I like to call a well…  A well that always has water… in the dry times you just have to go a little deeper.  It may take a little more digging but once you take that drink, you will never go back.  You will be tempted and pulled not to go for your whole life just as I am…  I am not someone super who knows the secrets to finding this well.  I’ve just experienced the filling and can no longer go back to drinking anything else.  The Lord knows I have been pulled from it time and time again, but his impact goes deeper.  We all need drink.  There are many things in the world that can satisfy the thirst for a time, but only the presence of Jesus is the quencher that is always available.  Available if you are paralysed.  Available if you are weak.  Available if you are not the greatest in the world.  Available no matter what country.  Available to young, old, rich, poor, married, divorced, confused, broken… If you desire to go this well the path begins with humility.

Blessings!

 

Walking In Weakness

Christmas Night where we met and talking about our lives

Another week has gone by here in Mexico.  Christmas was an awesome experience and brought a much greater sense of the culture here.  I was able to attend family sharing events where you really get an understanding of the struggles and joys of this culture.  Many the same struggles that all humans experience, but some different due to differing values.  But I was very blessed to be part of the this Christmas season here, tonight it another party time of new years.  I don’t know exactly what it will involve but I’m sure it will have to do with staying up late.  Really late.  Or perhaps just not sleeping.  Haha, we’ll see how it goes this time.

Where is my heart at…  My heart desires more of the Lord.  There has been many a lesson on the importance of suffering that the Lord has brought among my daily activities.  The important of being broken before the Lord.  I sometimes go to the Lord that will will give me confidence and a great sense of direction.  I wonder why he doesn’t often give the most of direct answers.  At times I choose to blame him as if those things where required to follow him…  But as I am learning it is in brokenness and confidentless left that following him makes the most sense.  Yes I do have confidence, but how terrible it would be if the Lord were to do something impacting through a situation he used me in and then I was to take that as a boost of my own confidence.  It seems the moment I feel totally confident is the moment where I forget all that he has taught me.  The moment where I think I am finally able to go out and start changing lives with all the “great” abilities I have, is the very moment the Lord will take me back again and humble me.  I think the Lord is much more interested in me glorifying him in my simply existence than he is of doing great things through a prideful person.  Sure prideful people in this world can and have accomplished much… but to what end?  They will die, just as all.  After a year or two their name forgotten.  All the people who worshipped the things that person did, or though him of great power are let down.

And I continue to ask why I am walking in weakness…  I continue to struggle thinking I deserve great things and when they don’t come I start to think something is wrong.  I continue to say to the Lord to take away my weaknesses.  I continue to tell him to take away all the things that I think my character is being held back by…  But he has not…  He has left them for his purpose.  And now it is my choice to trust in his will or continue struggling.

Prayer night before Christmas with some Casa de Dios people

It is this weakness that I am starting to understand.  It is in knowing my character flaws and being bold enough to walk in them, acting in them, using them still, that I actually will know it was not myself that has done it.  I used to think walking in weakness was simply something that failures did, but for those who embrace it realize it takes great bravery to continue to do so.  It takes bravery to act in places of weakness.  It takes bravery to follow the Lord knowing you are weak, because inevitably he will bring you an option to follow him, or not…  You may reason and figure out which choice is smartest, but that can simply be a means to encourage your fear.  It is not people that take the smarted route in life that please God, but those who in faith step out.  For without faith it is impossible to please the Lord (Heb. 11:6).

I guess what my lesson has been it that pain and struggle are not something to go to the Lord and complain about.  For everyone experiences pain.  You are not unique or curse for experiencing so.  God is there for you… not to be against you.  He is not there for you to have great success.  He is not there so all your desires for this life will come true…  But he is there for when they don’t.  He is there that you may have one to come to who knows greatly the suffering of this life.  I admit that many a time I choose to blame him instead of go to him.  It is like most relationships, as issue and problems come your reaction usually is to take it out on those nearest you instead of going to them humbly and asking for help.  But there is great fruit in asking.  Great things can happen for those that ask for help.

Journal Entry: “Christian”

(Context: Jesus talking to Pharisees who thought they were hot shots for being really good at knowing Scripture.)

“You diligently study the scriptures because you think that by them you possess eternal life.  These are scriptures that testify about me, yet you refuse to come to me to have life.”  – John 5:39 – 40

There is a difference in how scriptures are used for a person who follows Jesus.  For if the Bible were an instruction manual for life, it would be as though we continue to read the manual but never actually get to use that which we are learning to use.  As if one were to buy a TV… Yes the manual is useful and will show you how to greater use all the functions of the TV, but the manual in itself is not actually the TV.  The manual will not bring you any use if you do not have the TV you are learning about.  In fact, you could spend your whole life reading the manual and have missed out the whole time on what you could have been doing.  The same is with the Scriptures and Jesus.  The scriptures are of use insofar as Jesus is your ultimate end.  The scriptures are useful to show you what your relationship with Jesus can produce, but if you do not actually invest time in your relationship with Jesus the Bible will simply be a book with some encouraging stories that sure are nice to hear, but don’t actually fill you up with more hope in your relationship with Jesus.  See the issue with humans is that we are moody.  We are great one day, horrible the next.  We could be in a place where no task is too hard, and within a split second feel as though such a thing as starting a conversation is an ultimate burden.  This is normal for us Jesus knows this.  Jesus was and still is human.  Jesus knows that we need constant reminders and even a greater eye opening truth to keep us going with him.  It is in the scriptures that we will find more ways in which we can have hope.  We can look upon the miracle that is Jesus and be reminded of why we continually choose to follow him daily.  But remembering all the same that it is Jesus we are with.  It is Jesus we come to.  It is Jesus that through the Holy Spirit we can connect with, converse with, be changed by, be encouraged by, be rebuked by, and ultimately be loved by.

Your bible is great to read to increase your relationship with Jesus… but the thing that makes all the difference is actually the relationship.  The relationship is what will humble you.  The relationship is what will soften your heart.  Your relationship with his is what will deeply encourage you. Without the relationship you can read you bible and actually start to believe that that is it.  Many a Christian has done it.  They look to what most Christians are doing (reading their bible, going to church, being nice) and assume that’s what it is.  Then as the anxieties continue, the troubles of life, the hardships, (all things which are promised by Jesus for Christians to face) they fall away from “being a Christian” because in their eyes all it means to do those things.  Once they no longer have time for them then they get discouraged and consider themselves a poor Christian… but this is not it.  This is not Christianity.  Christianity is to follow, be with, and learn to be like Jesus.  And if all you have invested in is reading and going to church then in the hard times your relationship with Jesus will be of little or no use, at least the part of the relationship that actually is helpful in such a time. The part where you have learned to hear his comforting words in a way that you need to hear them.  The part where the Holy Spirit reminds you and such encouraging ways that the Lord is will you.  The part where in your hard times you don’t just let go of your spiritual disciplines because you assume they are doing nothing…  Maybe the truth is that they actually are doing nothing…  Maybe the truth is that actually have never done anything…  Maybe the truth is all your spiritual disciplines have been done for is to “make sure you are still a Christian.”  Because what it really is all about is going to Jesus.  Going to him with your anxiety.  Going to him and letting him know you actually don’t have what it takes to continue on.  Going to him and humbly submitting your life to seeking him and the relationship that has once again been made possible through the blood of Jesus Christ.  God no longer has the barrier of sin keeping himself from you… now the only thing keeping him from you, is you…

Go to him not as a dedicated, read-my-bible-every-day-so-I-deserve-a-good-life Christian, but as one in need. One in need of help.  One in need to encouragement.  This is why the Bible stresses humility, it is not because pride in itself is the horrible thing, but pride leads to into a lifestyle the keeps you away from coming to God.  The same with all the things God has laid out for us to do and not to do.  We do not seek a lifestyle of sexual immorality because that hinders us from being able to come to God honestly.  We do not walk down the path of addiction to things of the world because they hinder us from going to God to encourage our broken hearts.  We do not hold bitterness against our neighbor because that will hinder us from being able to build more into our relationship with God.  God has not set “rules” that we must stay on so we can somehow please him, but he graciously has shown us the things that keep us from being able to grow deeper in a relationship with him in a world that is now totally corrupted.

Jesus isn’t out to get people and make sure they follow his will so he can put another notch on his belt of people he has forced to follow them.  He is out to help.  He is there to turn to when you’ve reached your end.  He is there to hold on to when you’ve realized that it is at your “end” that actually God is then able to really work in you and thus work through you to others.

Yes, read your bible, do your spiritual disciplines they can help just as jogging keeps you fit and brushing your teeth keep you from cavities… But if it really isn’t doing anything for you, be honest with God in that.  Go to him and tell him that it isn’t doing anything for you.  Go to him and you will begin to see that he is not some high-energy power off in the distance making sure you have done your list of “spiritual chores” so he can then bless you… but you will see what he really is.  And once you have finally reached you end, your point of not a drop of energy more, your point of no longer desiring to live under your own faulty rule, your point of complete surrender you… will start to see his glorious beginning. You will see that he is actually alongside you suffering just the same.  You will see that he is crying out to keep you going.  For his spirit is in you.  If your spirit is suffering so is Jesus’ as a Christian.  We follow the one and only God who relates for he is just as much human as he is God.

This was a very significant quote that came up in my day:

“I asked God for strength that I might achieve.
I was made weak that I might learn humbly to obey.
I asked God for health that I might do greater things.
I was given infirmity that I might do better things.
I asked for riches that I might be happy.
I was given poverty that I might be wise.
I asked for power that I might have the praise of men.
I was given weakness that I might feel the need of God.
I asked for all things that I might enjoy life.
I was given life that I might endure all things.
I got nothing I asked for
But everything I had hoped for…
Almost despite myself my unspoken prayers were answered.
I am among all men most richly blessed.”

A Shift In Pace

It seems this week has been the beginning of big lessons.  Having now this past week really felt the Lord as I had before my year of hardship.  I am beginning to really remember the Holy Spirit’s sensitive and real presence.  My desire for prayer and reading scripture is growing.  My desire to hear his voice is returning.  Perhaps desire is not the right word… for I have always wanted to hear his voice and know his presence… but more my heart is allowing it.  I have been given the opportunity to seek him more deeply and have taken him up on it.  It seems the two biggest differences have been giving the Lord time and letting that time be seeking what the Holy Spirit would have for me.  One of my questions to present character was that I was not experiencing much of the promised fruits of the Spirit… Love, joy, peace, patients, etc…  It seemed those were far from me and still are at many points.  But it only makes sense that the reason I wasn’t experiencing the fruits of the Spirit was because I was not really seeking the Spirit to encourage me.  I did my devotions… I did my readings… but emptiness and less desire for the Lord seemed to follow from them… so naturally it becomes all the more easy to let go of those disciplines.  For if the purpose of them if to keep intimacy with Christ and they pull away from it, it seems quiet useless.  But what I have found great encouragement in is not doing the devotions for the sake of devotion, but for the sake of seeking the Spirit.  For when I seek the Spirit, I must do so with my heart.  In starting a time of listening, praying, reading, and writing for the sake of the Spirit’s en-filling the first question the comes is how is my own spirit doing…  Rarely do we concern ourselves with our spirit.  Rarely will you hear in daily conversation, “Good to hear that you are good, but how is your spirit doing?”  Not to say that it is a separate part or anything, but when someone asks us how our spirit is, it is a much different question then how is it going… is it not?  Your answer will be different, of course depending on your comfort level with the person asking it will change as well…  But when it is just you and the Lord honesty only makes sense for he already knows you are lying before you do.  So I come before the Lord and explain how my spirit is… and we begin hashing that out.  For in my soul there is always more room for contentment, peace, desire of life, and so fourth.  It can be a scary thing to go into how your spirit is.  It takes the power of the one true Holy Spirit to dive in safely and with hope of uncluttering its confusion.  Nothing will encourage a desiring Spirit than letting it know that it has eternity with the loving creator to look forward to after the hardships of this life are over.  Though that is foundational, is seems, at least in my experience to be only the beginning.  For to know that truth does not mean I go there now, but I still have the winding, skinny, dangerous, small-gated path of life laid out in front of me to go.  I’ve still got time to do something before eternity.  My soul will have to wait for it’s time and not get impatient with the things of the world.  For if I gain the whole world yet lose my soul what is all it worth?  I am going to live forever… Not necessarily here, but forever…  Weird to think of it that way.

Went to Panamerican games with the Family (Like a small Olympic qualifier thing)

This week has been a great one.  I finally finished my first level of Spanish class.  I have been able to set time aside and really pursue my relationship with the Lord.  As well I purposely wanted to spend more time “wasting time” with the guys on the streets and the family I am living with.  It has been hard but good for me.  It is funny to say but I’ve been a place for so long of trying to squeeze out every ounce of my time to make it “productive” that I have forgotten what actually matters.  My North American heritage come out quite potently when choosing the actions of my day.  I have gone down a path where I actually consider being with people as “wasting time”… It is sad really…  But I’m learning.  Even still I’m hanging out on the streets saying at the back of my head, “I should go do more work”, “How long can I be this unproductive and not feel the repercussions…”  I’m sure I will.  I’m sure I will hit a point where I need to do loads of work.  It is coming, I can just taste it!  hah!  But for the time being is seems learning how to be at peace with being less productive with my time is a necessity.

I was pretty excited to see this as we left...

Casa de Dios

 

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Well there has been much to write about.  I have been here for only 6 days now and it seems like it has been at least 4… maybe 5 months.  The first week of new seasons of life always seem to be the longest.  I’m sure soon enough it will be the last week and I’ll be wondering where all my time went (mi tiempo) and looking for the next thing the Lord has for me.

 

So far it has been the most amazing of fits for where I am.  I am with a Pastor and his family here in the poorer area of Guadalajara.  It is the section of town where you can go outside and there are just piles of youth hanging out not quite sure what to do with their time.  They would work if they could… They would go to school…  But the are happy enough to spend time with each other that the idea of their life not “meaning” much doesn’t get considered.  And by “meaning” I refer to the big idea in my head that says I need to accomplish much with my life.  The idea saying I need to be a success as something in order to be content.  It is one of the trickiest of lies.  It seeps quite deep into my heart.  It takes the Lord a great deal of reminding to keep me from once again sinking into it.  Its the funny thing about being young I find…  I spend all my time thinking that I will finally hit this day where I will be “there.”  I will have… something…  Not quite sure what it is…  I think it has to do with the feeling of contentment.  But thanks to the Lord I know contentment does not lie in something that will happen later… for the very fact that it will happen later means that contentment is not possible at this time.  And in order for contentment to be content it has to be now.  Hah…  I never thought of it that way…  But needless to say I am the part of town that is really encouraging me.  There is little time for me to do much of my homework and other worky type things because I have to spend time with people.  It is the culture… and the people are everywhere.  Youth are coming in and out of the house all day and night long.  I’m not quite sure how it works, but most of them are related.  “Uncle santana” comes over who is only 13 years old.  Maybe it is just a term of endearment that gets lost in translation… O well…

 

Guys hangin out as usual

 

This past evening we had music practice for the upcoming Sunday service.  I am playing “Everlasting God” for the church.  I’m not too sure why… but I played the song no less than 11 times.  This one lady was quite set on getting the lyrics in Spanish down.  Props to her, because I too was thinking that it needed at least 10 to get people on key and able to sing to the tempo.  It was a really joyous gong show.  At the end of most of the practicing I ended up playing a song for them in english call, “Hallelujah” from the movie Shrek (the one I always play) and they were mesmerized, the younger ones had there cell phone video recorders out recording me.  It was quite funny.  I feel a great peace about being in this community.  I would think that being alone with a bunch of people that don’t speak my language would be stressful, but it actually it quite nice.  It is amazing to learn to love people without words.  I cannot pass judgment for I know nothing to judge.  All I know is there is person in front of me that God has put on this earth that I can smile at and hope they see Jesus.  Because they don’t talk to me I get to pray all the more.  Though I don’t want them to think I am sleeping… I try to keep my eyes open most of the time.  Not being able to talk bring much more opportunity to think… In fact you are forced to think really hard before you even say the simplest of things.  For some reason I enjoy not being understood.  I have to be more creative to get my loving character across.  I have to pray instead of talk.  I have to choose my words wisely (using Google translator 🙂  ).

Anyway, it is getting quite late and tomorrow I am going to have to find my way around the city for my first time alone…  Oh boy…

Until next time,

Blessings,

Jon